The Illusion of Control: All You Control Are Your Thoughts, Words, and Actions
The illusion of control is the belief that we can control or influence the external circumstances around us, particularly the outcomes in our lives. While it's natural to want to have control over every aspect of life, the reality is that many things are beyond our influence—other people's choices, the future, uncontrollable events, and even the actions of nature.
However, there is a profound truth in recognizing that we only truly control what’s within us: our thoughts, words, and actions. These are the aspects of our lives that we can govern, and the way we manage these can significantly shape our reality.
The illusion of control can often trick us into believing that we can manage everything around us—our circumstances, people, and even outcomes. In reality, there are many factors outside of our control, and recognizing this can bring freedom and peace. What we truly have control over, however, are the thoughts we think, the words we speak, and the actions we take.
Let’s dive deeper into each of these areas:
Control Over Thoughts
Our thoughts shape our emotions, beliefs, and reactions to the world around us. We cannot control every thought that comes into our minds, but we have the power to choose which thoughts we entertain and allow to influence us. This is where the battle for peace and calm begins: managing our thoughts and choosing to focus on things that bring life, not anxiety or fear.
Our thoughts often influence how we perceive the world and our emotional responses to it. While we can't control every thought that enters our mind, we can choose which thoughts to dwell on and which to reject. The Bible speaks to the power of our thoughts:
- Romans 12:2 – “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing, and perfect will.”
- Philippians 4:8 – “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.”
- 2 Corinthians 10:5 – “We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.”
Key Takeaway: You have the power to choose your thoughts and focus on what aligns with God's peace and truth, instead of being controlled by anxiety or negativity.
Control Over Words
Words have immense power. While we can't always control what others say, we can control our own speech. Our words can either build up or tear down, reflect trust in God or project fear, bring hope or spread negativity. What we speak can impact our hearts, minds, and the environment around us. God calls us to speak words of life, encouragement, and truth.
The words we speak are powerful. They can build up or tear down, encourage or discourage. We can't always control what others say to us, but we have full authority over our own words. Proverbs is full of wisdom about the importance of speaking with care:
- Proverbs 18:21 – “The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.”
- Ephesians 4:29 – “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”
Key Takeaway: You can choose words that align with God's will, encouraging and speaking life into situations, rather than being swept away by harmful speech or negativity.
Control Over Actions
Actions are the manifestation of what we believe, think, and speak. While we cannot control the actions of others or the circumstances we face, we do control how we respond. We have the ability to make choices, act with integrity, and choose to honor God through our actions, no matter what external challenges we encounter.
We cannot control everything that happens to us or around us, but we can choose how we respond. Our actions often reflect the condition of our hearts and minds, and they determine how we navigate challenges, relationships, and opportunities.
- Matthew 7:24-25 – “Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock.”
- James 1:22 – “Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says.”
- Galatians 5:16 – “So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh.”
- 1 Corinthians 10:31 – “So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.”
Key Takeaway: You control your actions, and those actions can reflect God's love, righteousness, and grace in all situations.
Living in the Truth of What You Control
When we focus on the reality that we can control only our thoughts, words, and actions, it can bring a sense of relief. So much of life feels out of our control—circumstances, other people’s actions, future outcomes—but by focusing on what we can control, we find peace and strength in knowing that God has equipped us with the ability to choose how we respond.
God's Heart on Surrendering Control
God's heart is not for us to be consumed by the desire to control everything, but rather to trust Him in what we cannot control and be faithful with what we can. When we focus on aligning our thoughts, words, and actions with His will, we can live in a place of peace and freedom, no longer burdened by the illusion that we must control everything around us.
Scriptural Reflection:
- Matthew 6:34 – “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”
- Romans 8:28 – “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”
The illusion of control can be a heavy burden, leading to anxiety, stress, and frustration. But God calls us to trust Him in everything beyond our control and to be intentional with what we can control—our thoughts, words, and actions. By surrendering our need for control and focusing on living according to His guidance, we can experience true peace and live in the freedom He offers.
